1. In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.
2. Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
3. A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping
on Grafton Street and said "I haven't eaten anything in
four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I
had your willpower."
4. Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
5. Young Son: "Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her." Dad: "That happens in every country, son!"
6. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday
is to forget it once.
7. First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
8. How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
9. "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."
10. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying!"
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
name was "Always."