1. Horn broken. Watch for finger.
2. Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
3. Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
4. I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
5. Forget about World Peace...Visualize using your turn signal.
6. If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
7. Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
8. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
9. Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
10. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
11. Caution: I drive like you do.
12. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings"
13. Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me.
14. If Clinton is the answer, it must have been a stupid question.
15. It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
16. It really don't matter if I win or lose, just as
long as I piss you off in the process.
17. It's not an optical illusion, it just looks that way.
18. Love thine enemies...it REALLY pisses them off.
19. Friends come and go, but enemies seem to accumulate.
20. You can only be young once, but you can be immature FOREVER!.