1. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
2. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
3. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
4. Money can't buy happiness...But it sure makes misery easier to live with..
5. On the road of life--- take the scenic route.
6. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
7. I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
8. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
9. Your child may be an honor student but you're still an idiot.
10. If we are what we eat; I'm cheap, fast, and easy.
11. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
12. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
13. I doubt, therefore I might be
14. I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
15. If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.